Rockin it to get a Rockin Bod!

Ok, so I don't know if I have touched on this yet or not but I am back on an intense diet. I am staying low carb and have cut a lot of calories, like 20 carbs a day and 900 calories. It's a difficult task to say the least. I eat 6 small meals a day so I feel like I am always eating, but as of Wednesday I have lost 10 pounds since being home. It definitely helps to get the medication to suppress your appetite but it definitely isn't cheap. I also get the B12 shots once a week. It helps with my energy and actually stabilizes my mood. I've learned to get creative in the kitchen when it comes to foods that I can eat. I make what I call a Scrambled Omelet. Its eggs, laughing cow cheese, bacon or sausage and whatever veggies I feel like. I made it for my mom one night and she loved it. I also have converted Judd who loves the laughing cow cheese, hehe. Its so cute when we go to the grocery store and he goes "I wonder what kind of Laughing Cheese they have." He has been so supportive of my new, crazy hard diet. I went through withdrawals the first couple weeks and passing a fast food restaurant was miserable but he just kept telling me that I was doing such a good job and he was so proud of my hard work. The only thing that really is hard is when we decide we want to go out to dinner. Last night we decided to use the Groupon we had purchased and went to Spoto's Grill 131. It was a very upscale Steak and Lobster kind of place. I mean they served complimentary pate and bread. It so hard to order because I can't have anything with butter, crusts, basically it has to be plain. My salad even had to be picked through because their were dried cranberries and pistachios in it. I can't have either of those. I ordered the Steak Au Poivre. It was prepared table side and I didn't realize it had cream in it, but I ate a little of it and decided I would take the rest home for work the next day. OMG!! The BEST steak I have had in a while. Judd ordered the roasted duck with a cherry demi glace. It was perfectly cooked, but the cherry demi glace was a bit too sweet. I don't think he will be ordering it again even though he sort of liked it. Our waiter was phenomenal. Nick, who actually understood my low carb predicament, helped me with my ordering. He told me what I could have and what I should stay away from. He even asked if he should even bring the complimentary bread to the table. I didn't want to be rude to Judd though so I told him it would be alright. The service was incredible and the chef that prepared my steak came back and asked if it was cooked the way I wanted it. The check wasn't too bad after the Groupon and they added the 15% gratuity automatically to the bill. We thought that was a bit low considering the great service so we tipped Nick even more. I am sure he appreciated it. It's hard when you go into a restaurant with particular dietary requests. They a) think you are snobby, b) think you are going to take up a ton more of their time, c) are clueless and ignore what you say or d) actually respect your dietary needs and try to accommodate you. This place definitely did that and for that we will be returning customers, when we can afford it. Judd and I had a great conversation too. We've been talking a lot about the next step in our relationship, engagement. I have wanted this Tacori engagement ring for as long as I can remember.

I truly feel like me and this ring were meant to be. It is definitely not cheap though and I told Judd that I was willing to wait to get my perfect ring. We also discussed marriage. I have been having a lot of anxiety about my future wedding. Lately, it seems like all my friends from high school or people that I knew are getting married and starting families. I just saw one of my old best friends from high schools wedding pictures and she wore a couture dress, Manolo Blahnik shoes, an amazing wedding and her receptions was at The Breakers. Getting married is every girls dream, but the wedding is every little girls fairytale. My sister-in-law's parents made sure she had a fabulous wedding at the Don Cesar and it was elaborate. I should know, I was in the wedding. But seeing all these weddings makes me sad. Traditionally, the girls father is supposed to pay for the wedding. Unfortunately, my dad probably won't be able to afford much of anything for mine. You see ever since I can remember my dad hasn't had a consistent paying job. He is more of free spirit and doesn't believe in sitting in an office all day, so he has started companies and they have failed. He swears up and down that one day he will be a millionaire, and I hope with all my might that that would come true for him but I fear its not going to happen. My mom and step-dad said they'd be willing to help a little, but I don't think what they would be willing to do would go very far in my dream wedding. Some days I feel like me and Judd should just run off and get married, but I want my family there. I want my friends there. I want what is left of his family there. Judd's parents have both passed away. I wish with all my might that his mother was here still. I would have loved to meet her, get to know her, and learn from her. After her husband, Judd's dad, she never dated again. She could never love another man the way she loved Judd's father. I wish she could tell me the secrets to that type of marriage. I don't want to get divorced like my parents. But anyways, that also means we wouldn't have any help from his side. He told me last night that he realizes that we are pretty much going to be on our own when it comes to having a wedding. I told him my only request is that I want to be 120 pounds haha. I want to look my best and be as beautiful on the outside as I feel in the inside. I also told him that if I had to wait 5 years until we could save enough to have the wedding of our dreams I would. That's when he dropped the well we don't have to wait to have children, we could get married after. Whoa! But then I remembered that Judd is going to be 29 in September. He wants children, at least two. We'd also like to adopt one if finances allow. We want them to be from the United States and older. There are so many well deserving older children that need good homes and families to love them, but everyone always wants a baby. We feel like if we are blessed we should bless a child. They are the greatest gifts in the world and everyone of them deserve to be loved. We ended our conversation by telling each other that we love each other and that everything will work out. For us, nothing has been easy, but we have always made it through with our relationship in tact. In fact, I feel like we can make it through just about anything. We've made it through car accidents, selling our belongings to pay bills, college partying, family issues, moving away from each other, etc. and we are still very much in love and best friends. He is my rock. He places friendly bets with me about losing 3 pounds in week, if I do he'll pay for a mani-pedi hehe. He keeps me focused and he has shown me my truths and weaknesses. So I guess I don't really care if I have the wedding of my dreams as long as I am marrying the man of my dreams and I am pretty sure that is going to happen in the future :) Live and Love ~ E